We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
