idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize