why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
