I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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