You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
It's just like the Real World with babies
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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