That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
