I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
my being single is dangerous.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
