At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
