Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
