so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
