I hate all girls vehemently.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
