She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My ass is underappreciated
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
