I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
