You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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