You don't have asthma, your pregnant
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
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why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
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But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize