I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
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Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
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I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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