I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The uberlube is also flammable
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize