So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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