I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
