That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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