First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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