You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
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We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
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I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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