Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
