So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
