dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
