i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
