take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
