i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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