My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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