as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
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