just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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