I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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