I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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