this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My vagina is officially offended.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
we're so committed to being not committed
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
