im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
