I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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