im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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