NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
