I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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