Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She bit a glass in half.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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