every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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