but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
