Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
