wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize