you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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