Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
