This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
only you would photoshop your dick
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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