Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
