she looked like the before picture.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
