That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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