i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
