but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
is it fun? or sober?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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