She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
