Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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