I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
it glows. i had to have it.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize