508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
