I will die if light touches me.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
my poor anus
All the doctor said was why
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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