I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
A+ Viking dick
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
