If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
