why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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