i would punch a child for taco bell
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
