I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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