You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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