Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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